Most probably after reading the title, you have set an enraged mood of how a diary of cheater would be. Especially if you’re a victim. I can’t blame you. But, this is not all about the pro cheater you’d watched on a TV Show. This is a cheater who wanted to free herself from the “torn between two lovers” heck situation.
It’s hard. Harder than what you thought. Hardest situation to belong to. The power of confusion circulating along with her blood. It’s a battle of doing things right but, sacrificing something magical in herself. The reality of hurting someone else is the major offense. If the pro cheater can take that, she’s not. If she can just take all the heartaches so that no one gets hurt. She’ll definitely do.
Why right feels so wrong while wrong feels so right? She doesn’t even know what’s right anymore. Her self-trust was gone, especially in love. She named herself a cheater even its all inside her. She let herself be the same guy trying to find out their status in her hearts. But, it’s just got worse.
She’s committed. She had planned everything with the existing man she loves. She even promised to share her whole life to the said man. Marriage is almost there. The future is all about them. But then, life has its own way of surprising her with unexpected circumstances which let her think twice and might ruin the arrangement.
There comes the old love. The love that didn’t bloom because of wrong timing. The love that remains enigmatic. Unexplainable. She’s still trying to figure something about the old love that wants her more. She didn’t bother losing her pride just to have a connection with the old love. She’s totally insane. Foolish heart.
Apparently, she chose to stay away from the old love and continue living her life with the existing love. Fighting to do the so-called “right decision”. She’s happy and contented, but somehow the old love memories constantly battle on herself. The old love keeps on visiting her dreams at night. Waking up each day with a big question on her mind.
Don’t ever judge her for having a two-way hearts. She’s not enjoying the case, she’s actually suffering from double depression. She’s really aware that it’s breaking the rules. She even considered herself as a cheater. If only there’s a restart button, she’ll absolutely hit it.
Decision making is the end of all her distress. The hard way to stop herself from total drowning. Her final decision will directly affect her entire future. She can’t do it alone, God will be on her side. God puts her in this kind of dilemma and also Him will help her get out of this. Soon enough, she’ll understand God’s plan for her.
Story Behind: I was once suffered in a “Torn between Two Lovers” situation. I always put into words the confusion within me. I just want to share the piece I created myself.
Finally, I can say that I get over on that dilemma and this blog has nothing to do with my life right now.